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afk

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:06:10 GMT

once we move on sunday I won't have internet access until thursday or friday at the house as the service will be changed. might get a chance to check email on the library computers though so can be reached that way.

fyi

Mon, 18 May 2009 02:15:31 GMT

if you don't see me online for a few days doesn't mean I dropped off the face of the earth. we're getting the house accounts changed and that includes the isp. the phone line is going to be dropped and a new internet router connected to replace the account that was in my name.

I still have my cell, for anybody who needs to know. those who might need to call me, you have my number. I'm sure I'll be back soon.

please sir may I have another

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:12:21 GMT

so when potatoes showed up with two of her kittens alive, we were very relieved to see that the two (out of the original seven) had lived.

she's taken up residence on the back porch with the two for a couple days, and the kittens (although perceptably feral) are getting used to the noise and business and attention of the minihorde. they hardly spit and hiss at all when the kids go to stroke them gently.

then today the kids call me over at my mom's where I'm painting and tell me that we've had a new arrival.

why she didn't bring the third one along the first go round we're not quite sure, but she had to have gone back to get the third. maybe she was making sure she'd be getting a steady, dependable and adequate source of food for them (they're getting cans of wet and dry food as well). so all of a sudden, here's the third one. three surviving kittens. its...well, its more than I anticipated, if you recall from my previous posts.

this one is fearless, very gentle and sweet compared to the other two. she doesn't flinch when the kids come near her, and allows them to pick her up and caress her, cuddling patiently in their arms while they sit crosslegged holding her. her fur is much softer than the other white/tiger-striped one, a little smaller, and the other one (a boy) has a coarse white blaze on his back (you can see it in the picture). she's very playful and alert, and a truly sweet kitten.

the kids named them. twinkie 1 named the tortie tiger, twinkie 2 named the new kitten cutie and boy wonder named the blaze kitten....sherman? not sure where that came from.

the good news is, they're all eating the wet and dry food, and drinking water from the bowl, so by estimation they're ready to be re-homed. dunno how hard this will be, but at least on craig's list you can ask for a rehoming fee to help to spay the momma which *has* to happen.

but for now, its just peaceful enjoying the pleasant surprise of what you resigned yourself never to see again, alive.

........................................................

funny, the more I look at her, the more she reminds me of loki.

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 14:20:34 GMT

I have to go paint again today, and won't be back until I get the last room finished tomorrow or tomorrow evening.

look what the cat dragged in

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:03:56 GMT

I find it no shocking coincidence that I'm constantly surprised at the unexpected. this morning, we had Potatoes for breakfast.

and her kittens.

wind me up and never stop

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:19:58 GMT

its been a pensive and productive week or so. now after dealing with the emotions of things and ordering my thoughts, there's a lot of stuff needs saying. needs writing, to be specific. this is going to take a while but I think getting it out benefits me most for several constructive reasons.

so, let's get this off to a rollicking start, shall we?

"NEW Weaponry"

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:10:36 GMT

is what my precocious 9 year old twinkie 1 wrote on the top of the ruled notebook paper. she showed it to me with the preamble:

"you know? blizzard could use some new gear. YOU could use some new gear. its not class specific, so anybody can use it! in fact -- you can trade it with your friends if you are going into a fight and they need something and you have it. here is the list [complete with her item descriptions, and pictures, hand-drawn by herself]!"

1. Flammer blade: a 2-handed sword that makes your attack strong and stuns the mob but it damages you a lot.

2. Ice cape: if you hit someone with the cape on, you freeze them.

3. Glider springs: Makes you reach places you can't reach with normal shoes. they have a loooooong cooldown though, so be wise when you pick to use them.

4. Shield dust: When you are about to die and (you are not a priest), you spray some on yourself or on someone else to power them up and shield them while they're dying and it will give them 4 seconds to save themselves with a pot or heal.

5. Power exchange: If you and a different being drink this at the same time you will exchange powers for 30 minutes.

5 Taperica mount: A flying lizard mount that lets you kill and ride in the air at the same time. and its blue like a deep sky blue with turquoise wings.

7. Crown of Justice: protects you when you put it on by adding holy damage to your attacks and fights for you when you throw it. and you can socket it.

"we need to petition a gm to see if we can get this stuff integrated by the next patch!"

she was pleased to hear I would try my hardest to see that blizzard got the information.

Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:22:58 GMT

I know we watch far too much invader zim when this kind of thing is the soundtrack to my afternoons:

http://www.imeem.com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?p=FUvDv6dD

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:18:27 GMT

from kryptongirl in wow_ladies. for those of you who know cranius from big blue dress:

http://www.cranius.com

http://www.youtube.com/CraniusPresents

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Cranius/

and then the other shoe fell

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:02:27 GMT

my mother called right as we were sitting down to dinner to say my dad has been admitted to the cardiac hospital there in jersey under suspicion he's possibly had/having a heart attack. on the phone with family likely for the rest of the evening, and then could be leaving for jersey tomorrow til not sure when.

a little bit of dumpling happiness

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:13:37 GMT

I've been craving all sorts of various things the past couple days: candied star gooseberries with chili and salt, coffee candy, jackfruit chips, green papaya salad, popcorn and turkey. I don't quite understand the turkey thing. I usually only care for it once a year and then I'm good. I boiled down a full turkey breast I'd had in the freezer, intending to make stock and then for the past three days have eaten nothing but the stock with the turkey and stock vegetables still in it. I braised a whole head of napa cabbage with sweet onion in some of the stock and for gobsake have been eating that for breakfast every morning. its just heavenly drizzled with sesame oil. but then hell, what isn't? I guess its better than craving pork rinds and ice cream, huh?

dunno how long my crazy foodie itch has been going on. a couple days? a week? not sure but everybody's benefitting I suppose.

I finally found a recipe for the most exquisite overlarge dumplings with a homemade dumpling wrapper that was omfg just to freakin die for. denser than regular dumpling or gyoza wrappers, the dough was chewy and dense without being bready -- firm enough to stand up to being boiled whole and then being pan seared without losing a dimple on the seal or a bend on a corner. and the mixture for the interior a sinfully crazy melange of finely minced chicken, shallots, garlic, collards, and other vegetable tidbits. the seasonings for the filling were so dang awesome that after the dumplings had been boiled and then pan seared, that upon breaking apart these larger-than-usual dumplings on a plate the heady steam of broth escaping and lingering inside the dumpling was like the entrance to the jade palace itself. it was soup dumpling without the bowl yet dry enough to still be picked up and dipped in the sauces.

just for variety, I made chicken and vegetable dumplings, and vegetable and tofu dumplings (which had an egg for binding). the vegetable ones had diced, just slightly-undercooked boiled potatoes, mashed medium-firm tofu, seasoned collards, onion, minced corn, straw mushrooms (pressed, drained, minced) and garlic. the seasonings for the filling -- well, I'll pass on the revelation of that as a good cook should keep *some* of her secret recipes.

sauce #1 = equal parts brewed soy sauce and rice wine vinegar. bruised garlic. teaspoon of brown sugar. teaspoon of grated ginger. a little chiffonade (minced strips) of kaffir lime leaves, seared and garnishing the top of this sauce.

sauce #2 = miso paste, lime juice, fish sauce, teaspoon of organic peanut butter (it was a gift, and its perfect for this because there is no sugar in it), dab of thai chili paste with enough boiling water to smooth it out.

side of steamed jasmine rice and some braised broccoli and pak choy with baby corn.

I'm not kidding. I made sixty-five dumplings. the next day for lunch I considered heating up the remaining dumplings for the minihorde's lunch: only 8 remained. I think twinkie 1 (who eats like a 16-year old boy) ate something like 9 all by herself. they just kept eating and eating and eating and making the most wonderful, gratified sounds while they ate them.

so yeah, I guess this one's a keeper.

where'd you get those peepers

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:41:56 GMT

finally getting around to the camwhorage of my new specs.

*yawn*. here she is herself: early morning, barely awake with not nearly enough coffee in me. my hair's getting pretty long too. but I like the specs. somebody helped me pick out just the right pair. he said they should lean more towards "teacherly" than "geekgirl." I think I found a happy medium. they suit me just fine so I had to show them off.

the minihorde told me this morning that if I were dressed in leather and carrying daggers, I would look just like my belf rogue faelen on antonidas (without the glasses though), because of the way my hair curled around my face. "of course," said twinkie 1, "it would have to be a lot more white." they're sweet, ain't they?

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:03:19 GMT

wow.

ok.

you're ok. you're all right. wherever you are, you're alive.

this is the best sobering news I've had in weeks.

and now I'm a little numb. and I'm thinking. I don't want to open my mouth til I know how to say things. its still sinking in but in a good way. all that anxiety and crippling doubt is snuffed out, and at least I'm peaceful knowing you're all right.

what's going on -- really, its painful, its life-changing. but I promise, its a good thing.

thank you, darlin.

friends-only

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:41:43 GMT

I'm going to be changing my LJ to friends-only. I get the feeling that I'll be writing a lot more personal stuff and a lot less about the things that made this LJ so much fun in the first place - gaming, reading, art, music, all the subjective stuff that was great to write about. not that I'll stop writing about that stuff. its that over the past nearly two years things have come to where they are, and I don't doubt they'll continue to be the things I feel compelled to write about so I won't lose my fucking mind. I also know that things are probably going to get worse before they get better.

and I'm keeping in mind that in whatever stroke of luck way you all LJ friended me, this may not have been what you signed up for. the similarities or fortune that found us together may have diminished so that really its not either enjoyable or interesting to read what I'm writing anymore. alternately, my posts may not be the kind of thing you want *other* friends on your flist seeing you subscribe to for various reasons. I have to take into consideration that currently, the majority of what I write about could be considered disturbing, uninteresting or irrelevant to some of you from many standpoints: moral, religious, emotional, what have you.

the point is, I don't think anybody should feel obligated to have my posts fill up your flist if you're either uncomfortable or uninterested in what I'm doing here. I've had a couple old LJ friends drop me from their flist, and that's perfectly fine. I understand why and its all right. I don't want to keep anybody a captive audience.

from the receiving end, I'm very glad to have all you various and fascinating people I do on my flist. its virtually transporting from the mundane burn that are my days to read of vegan fare, homemade goodness, photography, writing, art, your education, your loss or triumph, or the amusing/moving things that happen in your daily lives. I'm grateful indeed.

the feck????

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:31:53 GMT

Everytime you buy a game we won't kill a puppy.

I would have had fun with this even without the voice over. and, I want to kill that girl.

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 12:07:25 GMT

lying on the sofa this morning, half-awake thinking of last night's dream about a tornado tearing through the house, and wishing for the last time since ten minutes ago that my darlin would come back online, the kids reminded me that I had promised a week ago to take them to tim hortons for breakfast. oh joy and revelry. timbits and bagels and sprinkle donuts and whatever. I would so try to talk them out of it if I hadn't been talking my way out of it all week. the last time we went was when I had to tell them their dad's cancer was still there.

ugh. at least they'll have coffee.

hold the mayo

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:18:01 GMT

people think I'm trying to be all that when I tell them I had to make fresh mayonnaise today for the tuna salad. the real issue here isn't that I must have homemade from fresh ingredients because I have a discerning palate. I do have a discerning palate and I do enjoy homemade mayo, I'm just too damn lazy to go to the store for a single jar of mayonnaise.

let me explain

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:02:30 GMT

ok about my previous entry "joe broke his what?"

I was writing drunk with tired last night and I wondered if it made any sense even after I read it twice myself.

last night when I was told that my friend joe was a quarterfinalist for the 2009 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, my addled-brain response was, "joe broke his WHAT???"

you should not brain when you are teh tired. and you should not tired and drive either, nor operate heavy machinery under the influence of tired. tired may cause teh stupids, dry mouth, feelings of listlessness and fumbliness. tired is a direct result of working the brain and body too hard or too long, therefore physicians recommend at least 7 hours without working the brain or body, with the eyes closed.this has been a public service announcement of the belle broadcast system.

joe broke his what???

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 02:38:57 GMT

why push myself when I'm so damn tired. when a thing leeches onto my thoughts I can't shake the thing and let my mind go off to rest until its thought out thoroughly.

john told me a near hour ago that a friend of ours, a co-commissioner on the council with him and a man whose younger daughter is dearest, bestest friends with our twinkie 1, has made the quarterfinals for the 2009 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award for his novel, Guilt Trip.

in the past three years I've known joe he's been working himself night and day on this book. he's congenial, creative and conscientious in person, and his kids and wife are simply awesome people that we find a pleasure to know. for these past years, when asked what he does he's merely mentioned - "oh I'm working on a book," but has never ventured more than that in casual conversation.

I'm struck quixotic about this news with a slapstick whipped cream pie to the kisser. I see once again the fruits of a dedicated writer (somebody who has an inkling that they could, actually, realistically, conceivably write a...yes, by all that's typeset, a book) . this is in direct what-not-to-succeed-in-doing how I cannot for the fucking life of me compel myself to bicfok (butt in chair, fingers on keyboard) and dedicate some actual REAL time to writing much more than well pondered and evocative journal musings with the occasional dash of profane comedic irkiness. damn my stupid, lazyass self. dammit, dammit, dammit. feck me fecking me stupid and bring on the bourbon. not necessarily in that order, mind you.

no really, I love joe to bits and wish him the best of luck. I don't covet his success, and I sincerely hope that if he does not win that at least he will garner publisher attention, as all reader feedback is submitted to penguin.

so if you've a yen to read his work and leave some feedback, I know my friend would appreciate it greatly if you have the time to d/l the free couple chapters of his book and after reading, give a moment to post an honest review.

ok that's all we have time for tonight. thanks for watching -- good night everybody!

they danced by the light of the moon

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:07:11 GMT

night before last the stray cat decided that the back porch was not safe enough for her kittens. late at night I heard her hissing and wauling, and went to the back door to find a ghoul-faced possum nose-deep in her bowl of food, face towards the open end of the covered litter box we'd converted to a makeshift nursery.

now, possums are thick, and by that I mean slow and somewhat brainless. offal slurping, garbage reveling, disgusting mammals. I have no love for possums. he was literally standing against the back door and I had to push the door open to get him to go and still he barely budged. I took the broom handle and whacked him on the head and the worst possible thing happened -- he feigned death right there on the porch.

I literally had to push that skivey motherfucker off my porch with the broom, the whole time with the cat chortling her rowly warnings. I finally swept him off the porch steps and at the bottom of his tumble he rolled over and waddled malignantly away. I threw a piece of wood from the back porch after him. it smacked him right in the ass and he flinched but just kept waddling.

the next morning, john checked on her on his way out the door. somehow, like little soft and helpless things are wont to do, the kittens had worn down his demeanor towards the cat over the past several days. I've heard him in and out talking to the stray saying, "hey momma and how are your pretty little babies today?" that day he opened the door and said "hey, one of our kittens doesn't look so good." surprised at his longcoming acceptance of them, I checked on the one he mentioned and like the two previous who had died, this one was languishing again. same condition.

I can only surmise that since this tiny momma can't make enough milk to feed seven, let alone five newborn, hungry and visibly growing kittens, that one more might suffer. the largest kitten was nearly twice the size of this little mittenful. in the heart-touching way I've seen mothers in other countries who cannot feed their gaunt children, she reached out to touch him often with a kind of tenderness and hopelessness.

at this point, I face the dilemma of the compassionate. I've always understood both sides of conscientious euthanization and protracting pointless suffering. I've seen animals suffering, and people too. I've argued countlessly with others about what is humane and inhumane, and why we feel the necessity to do something, anything, when faced with a moral or spiritual crossroads as a way to alleviate our own turbulent emotions about loss and control, or how other people perceive us as compassionate or uncompassionate. I see the kitten suffering and the mother too. I realize that I could end this suffering, it is within my power. and the seed of buddhist reconciliation within me that understands the life and death of things realizes it is not my power to end their suffering but to end my own. I cannot control what is in the best interest of the creature, or what is in the best interest of my conscience.

in the end, I don't make a choice because its not mine to make. choice is illusory in a way; convincing yourself that if you take a course of action the outcome will formulate your desire. instead, I experience the situation without attempting to change the course of the outcome to one that will make me feel better. loosen your reigns on the world belle and suffer less from things like kittens and silence from the one you love.

within the next hour I notice she's gone from the nursery box, as is the kitten that was languishing. I accept that possibly she's removed him for the reasons that creatures do. she comes back, and takes another; I see her trot through the yard with him in her mouth. I ask john, let's at least go see where she's taking them. she carries them a full city block and a half away to an abandoned house in the neighborhood with all the windows smashed and the debris of squatter life carpeting the floors and spiling out of the broken windows and doors. she must have thought it safer than any place a possum would come.

john wants to call animal control and ask if they will come and get them out of the house. I explain that just won't happen. he wants to do something. now, of all times. I knew she would move them eventually, every cat I've ever had that gave birth has done that. she's made up her mind, and yet knowing this I know the one who was dying will very likely not live, and I doubt if we will see all of the remaining kittens alive months from now.

one day up next day down

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:56:22 GMT

round and round it goes.

this morning one of the kittens was obviously languishing, non-responsive, his skin lacked elasticity and his little limbs rather rigid. momma potatoes had him separated from the rest up by her head and was licking him, but I could tell he was either severely dehydrated, incapable of fighting for food overnight, or probably the most likely of situations, genetically unable to survive. both this kitten and the one that looks just like him (the smaller blackish ones without stripes) were not in good shape. after coming home this morning to check on them before leaving again, this first little one had died. I removed him gingerly; she watched me take him with wide eyes but made no protest.

I checked the remaining six, all were seemingly fine and sufficiently hydrated and responsive save the other little black one as mentioned. I did not have a good feeling that he would make it through the day. sure enough by the time I returned home today he had also died. it seems these are the two kittens twinkie 2 called "the twins, like us." I believe they were not viable on their own. as we mentioned, this was a stray cat obviously without innoculations and there could be a strong possibility of feline leukemia.also since momma didn't come to us until late in her pregnancy there was no way we could make up for lack of proper nutrition early on.

it was a sad tinge on the day, but the other five are still very vital. as boy wonder said, "we should be happy we still have five, and they are alive."

with his shoures soote

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:37:38 GMT

I'm at my mother's finishing up a taxing day of painting. my mother had offered to let me sit in her new garden jacuzzi bath and told me to soak as long as I needed. right as I got to turn the jets on she was at the door with the phone saying, its your daughter and I can't understand what she's saying. twinkie 2 was screeching into the phone...

"potatoeshadtwins!"

what? I ask

"potatoeshadtwins!!!"

I have to ask her a couple more times and just can't figure it out she's so overenthusiastic. I get her to calm down for a bit and I finally make out -- the other teeny little stray cat that had started coming around the house of late, the one they'd called "potatoes" (because logically to them, potatoes goes with gravy of course) had sequestered herself under the slide of the playhouse and....

potatoes delivered five healthy kittens this afternoon.

yeah, I know.

I know.

who....who would have figured???

I jump out of the tub and rushed home, just in time to help her deliver two more. and not the lesser two of the septuplets, but all seven wriggly and healthy and mewly. probably about half her teensy weensy body weight indeed.

I've turned into the pregnant kitty halfway house I think. but in light of yesterday's events, this was very welcomed news.

seven. good lord.

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:18:53 GMT

the turn of events go not as we wished or prayed.

at least we cared for her, and loved her and fed her while she was alive. the kids called her gravy (becase she was gray, and "who doesn't like gravy?") I fretted all winter for her comfort; on the back porch made her a shelter of a hooded litter box and soft old towels. despite my own better habit I fed her when the other adult who lives in this house wasn't looking - even bits of cottage cheese and the water from drained cans of tuna, and scrambled eggs left over from the kids' breakfasts. all the while telling myself I don't need another thing to need to care for. I did what was possible. yet I don't have a clear conscience. she suffered; I know she did. but at least she's not now.

there's a spot under the butterfly bush that's right: a depression from years ago when we tried to move the sixty-year-old shrub to another part of the yard and after digging down nearly three feet realized it was only going to come out by act of god or frost heave equal to a new ice age in the ohio valley. there's the place for her; it warms nicely in the summer and its dizzy with monarchs and green winged flutterers all season.

gravy's cleaned and brushed, and laid on a freshly washed, soft towel that smells like some manufacturer's idea of mountain springs. she's all limp limbed yet turgid bellied. the three kittens were stroked through her fur and named. rouser, wiggly, sunset. laid in her grave curled around the first one who hadn't been born before he died. we nestled him in a washcloth under her foreleg. dead as he'd been with his sad broken neck, she'd tended him, cleaned him, nuzzled him. they asked if he should be named but I said it wasn't necessary; his mom knew who he was.

this is the time to cry for creatures great and small.

what next

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:04:59 GMT

I've passed beyond concern and worked my way into worry about the cat on the porch.

for the past several days she's been in this malaise which as I mentioned I knew probably indicated she was ready for kittens. and then yesterday on the front porch, having to help her with the breech kitten, which did not live.

since the breech kitten yesterday at about 4:30 EST, she hasn't delivered any more kittens. after that first one, I could gently feel my way around her belly and at least two other kittens were squirming. last night during dinner, she absented herself from the porch and I was struck by the knowledge that I really shouldn't worry so much about her, she's a creature and will know what's best for her to do. my worry will not change or affect her in any way, and if she wants to find a secluded spot for delivering her kittens that's her perrogative.

she returned, full of the same malaise. I'd wondered if she'd delivered a kitten somewhere and abandoned it. felt for kittens moving and they seemed to have settled down. I spent the next hour with a glass of wine, sitting on the porch swing in the temperate early spring evening, reaching down to stroke the length of her body occasionally. as a kid there for a while, I'd become enchanted with james herriot's entire series about being a veterinarian. I devoured those books. for a period of time becoming a vertinarian was something I'd contemplated all the way through to my college years when I applied and was accepted into veterinary school. but I think I realized when I did some soul searching that although I had the compassion for the health and welfare of animals, and for all my brash stoicism, I did not have the strength of heart to see an animal suffer and staunchly remain courageous or accepting that sometimes suffering does not end well, and often you can do nothing to prevent that ending.

I debate the issue with john who does not want to hear about it and could care less. in fact, he's angry that the cat is on the porch anyway "complicating" things. I told him that in the times I've helped or sat with cats delivering, it was my feeling that they might take as quickly as 15 minutes between kittens, or as much as an hour between them. I told him that my understanding is either that she delivered the deceased kitten and the others are fine and not quite term yet, or that after all this time the others may not make it either. but in any event, she had not shown an indication of delivering any more, and as I can count, she's still carrying more.

before they went to bed the minihorde expressed their concern about her. when I'd had to help extract the breech kitten, twinkie 1 ran from the porch with tears streaming down her face and hands pressed over her ears at the poor cat's pained screeching during the extraction. granted, it wasn't in any way pleasant for me either. she repeated through the evening how she felt so badly for the cat. at bedtime, she confessed to me through sorrowful choking that she felt she was the one who killed the kitten and had caused the cat so much pain. she had been carrying the cat the other day in the yard in her arms like a baby (the way she's always carried this cat since it started showing up). she had turned the cat out of her arms the way she'd always done, and the cat had fallen on its feet but its belly had bumped the ground. now, twinkie 1 is only 43" tall, and she bends over when she turns the cat out of her arms to land on its feet. so the cat could not have fallen more than about 8". she burst into tears, so wracked with guilt that she had caused the death of an innocent kitten and further pain and suffering for the cat. it took a good deal of reassuring to comfort her that the events were not in any way her fault.

during the night I checked on the cat repeatedly until I went to bed around 1 am. stroked her body, soothed her as best I could. she looks exhausted, yet without any relief. I predicted that not knowing the situation, I would either wake up to one, possibly two live kittens or in the worst case, well....the worst case.

this morning she was in her box on the back porch, looked up at me but not responsive. no kittens still. an hour later, twinkie 2 tells me she's lying in the yard. I expect I will find a dead cat, but she's lying on her belly in the yard. I pick her up and bring her back to the chair cushions on the front porch. settle her down. probe her belly and find nothing moving once more. I stroke her little head and wonder what to do next.

I'm indecisive between taking her to the shelter now out of concern that she has not delivered more, and alternately assuming that this kitten was simply aborted and the others will come later. the last thing I'd want is to cause this cat more suffering or death due to my indecision or ignorance.

just when I thought I could catch my breath

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:22:27 GMT

I came home from a day of painting and picking the minihorde up, with plans to house clean for one of the twinkie's previously post-poned birthday sleepover tomorrow night. and I find the stray cat we'd been feeding for months is giving birth on one of the front porch chairs.

when I walked to the front porch to check the mail, I saw her on the chair and called to her the way I always do. she'd been hanging around the back porch the past day or so very lethargic and profound with gravitas, so I knew it would be any day she'd go into labor. when she didn't turn her head to me I felt it was very likely she was in the throes of it and walked over to check on her.

unfortunatley, the first kitten is breech up to the shoulders, and not breathing. its going to be a long evening for the two of us, the cat and me.